Because I Have it all Together, and Other Lies I Want You to Believe About Me

Why Every Christian Church Should Close it’s Doors on Easter Sunday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love Easter Sunday. Kids’ in their little suits and dresses. Excitement in the halls. Decorations. Plastic eggs all over the playground. Tired women checking the clock worried the ham is going to burn.

There’s crafts, big music, candles. Who doesn’t love a celebration?

It’s safe. It’s fun. It’s tradition.

 

 

 

 

 

Yet, with all that I wonder if the world would be better off if every Christian church closed its doors on Easter Sundays.

I’ve always loved Easter. However, working on the “inside” of a church I learned three things about Easter Sunday.

  1. Easter is a celebration for the Christian. It is a time to remember the basis of our faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus.
  2. Easter is time where non-Christians or “Christmas/Easter Christians” who don’t normally go to church may walk through the door. Because of this, there is a huge emphasis on evangelism.
  3. Easter and Christmas are the two biggest giving times of the year. It’s like Black Friday for businesses. It’s a time where budgets get caught up for the year because churches have bills to pay. Salaries, insurance, building payments, supplies, etc. Closing the doors on Easter could be catastrophic – financially.

The reason I think Christian churches should close the doors on Easter Sundays is largely based on #2.

In most churches across the US, the last few weeks have been focused on the service for Easter Sunday. Decorations made. Cool backdrops designed. The order of service has extra music, maybe even a skit. Only the best musicians and vocalist are used on Sunday.

 

A larger than normal “welcome team” is placed at the door. Extra something in the “welcome bags’ are thrown in. Children’s ministry has better than normal crafts.

Flyers or postcards have been made to “invite” people in the neighborhood. A large banner made with Easter service times posted on the exterior of the church. Website updated. Basically, “the mother-in-law is coming so let’s look put together and impressive as possible”.

What’s wrong with that? Why is a church focusing on evangelism on Easter Sunday an issue?

Because the Great Commission does not say, “Invite”, “Open your doors”, “Welcome in”.

It says, “GO”.

Go.

Here’s an idea: What if instead of opening our doors to invite people in, we closed our doors and actually did what the Great Commission says by going out?

Wait! What??? But it’s tradition.

 

 

It gets even crazier. What if Christians closed their doors on Easter Sundays and went out and cleaned trash, repaired roofs, cleaned the showers and disinfected the beds at the homeless shelters – WITHOUT MATCHING T-SHIRTS!

No flyers.

No, “we’re here from such and such church. Here’s a card if you’d like to join us next Sunday.”

What if we just went out and did our job by loving our neighbor as ourselves.

 

 

But, wait- there’s more! What if we didn’t go back and pat ourselves on the back. We forgo the slideshow of all the good work we did that day. We don’t use testimonies to make next year’s Easter “shut the doors event” even bigger and better because this year was such a “success”. What if we didn’t count numbers of how many people walked through our doors because we closed them.

What if we just did what we’re supposed to do.

Tradition? Or Transformation?

You may say, “We don’t want to close our doors because Easter is a celebration for the Christian”. I would agree. Let me challenge you with this then.

All the money spent for flyers, banners, extra crafts, set decorations, outside speakers or musicians, extra goodies in the welcome basket, and the prizes for “who brings the most people to youth group” that weekend was actually spent on your own flock.

You know the ones- the flock that God already gave you. What if that money was instead spent on extra money to the single moms who chose life WITHOUT the humiliating 5 page financial document proving they need help. Their single moms who chose life. Of course they need help!!! They’re not poor because their stupid. They’re poor because- hello- they’re single moms who chose life.

What if the best musicians were sent to the shut ins of your church. Instead of extra goodies in the bags or baskets, the money was used for a breakfast for the elderly.

What if the money raised on Easter Sunday wasn’t used for salaries that pay above the average American wage, but instead went to the hurting right in front of you.

I hear so many Christians over and over again comment on how bad the world is. How “out there” is trying to ruin what’s “in here”. AKA the Christian culture we’ve created.

But I have to ask, how much of the world being bad is our fault? We don’t and haven’t done what we were called to do. There’s no “build a gate”. “You’re better than them”. “Protect what’s yours”. Sorry. I could be wrong, but I’m fairly certain Jesus didn’t say those terms.

If we had closed our doors and done our jobs would “the world” be in this situation.? If every church closed it’s doors every Easter and simply went and did – more transformation by showing love and kindness would happen than any fancy service could ever provide a “non-believer”.

I know. You’re thinking Easter is this Sunday so obviously we can’t do anything about that.

I would ask you to do this:

Think about the above. Is Easter about evangelism, money for the church, or a celebration for the Christian? Pick a lane.

What can you do in your own home? Can you make one less side dish and give to feed a starving child in Syria? Can you tip the waitress at Easter brunch not double – but triple- WITHOUT saying what church you’re from??? Zero words. You just did the deed.

Be mindful when you throw out celebratory words this Sunday, without truly thinking about the implication to the person on the other end.

There is no difference between you and the Ukranian Christians right now who have had their tongues cut out, raped or shot. There’s no difference between you and the black brother or sister who has been shot in the back of the head. There is no difference between you and the parents who can’t afford ONE single gift or special food for their child this Easter.

It is not grace, because many of them know God, too. Use what resources you’ve been given in heart, spirit, but also in practical hands. Do what’s right because you can when others can’t.

In regards to our hearts at church on Easter Sunday:

Isaiah 58:3-10

‘We have fasted before you!’ they say. ‘Why aren’t you impressed? We have been very hard on ourselves, and you don’t even notice it!’ “I will tell you why!” I respond. “It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves. Even while you fast, you keep oppressing your workers.

What good is fasting when you keep on fighting and quarreling? This kind of fasting will never get you anywhere with me.

You humble yourselves by going through the motions of penance, bowing your heads like reeds bending in the wind. You dress in burlap and cover yourselves with ashes. Is this what you call fasting? Do you really think this will please the LORD ?

“No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people. 

Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. 

THEN your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the LORD will protect you from behind.

THEN when you call, the LORD will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. “Remove the heavy yoke of oppression. Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!

Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. THEN your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.”

 

Stacy Pederson is a funny motivational speaker who has almost died a bunch.

When You Don’t Like Someone: I Fell in a Prairie Dog Hole – True Story

When you don’t like someone: when you don't like someone Stacy Pederson funny female motivational inspirational keynote speaker

I fell in a Prairie dog hole.

Some people hurt themselves running marathons, fighting wars, battling blazes, or reaching up to grab a cup off the shelf. Others of us hurt ourselves falling in prairie dog holes.

I was taking my dog Hazel for a walk. Now, I know what you’re thinking:

“Why were you walking out in the open prairie.”

I wasn’t. I was less than one block from my apartment building. I live in annoyingly white suburb that has as much diversity as a typical NFL coaching staff.

Hazel and I were meandering along the sidewalk when I caught a glimpse of another dog and it’s owner ahead. I, doing the correct thing, (since my dog is crazy) stepped off the sidewalk to make way for them and proceeded to fall directly into a prairie dog hole.

Continue reading “When You Don’t Like Someone: I Fell in a Prairie Dog Hole – True Story”

Screw New Years Resolutions – Do This Instead: The Woman in the Ward

Stacy Pederson funny motivational speaker easter 2020 Covid 19

“The Woman in the Ward.”

By Stacy Pederson, Funny Motivational Speaker

I woke up to the familiar sounds of an IV and vitals machine, but the walls were different. It was my fourth time in the hospital. The infection came out of nowhere-once again.

I could tell I was on the ground floor because of the trees outside my window. I didn’t know it at the time, but those trees would be burned into my memory so clearly. On days when it snows here in Colorado, I often have flashbacks of the snow falling on those trees.

They told me the hospital was full on the regular floors. I was the sickest outside of ICU, so they had moved me to the cancer ward.

The room was bigger than I was used to with tasteful wallpaper and paint. It had a serene feel. Serene for a hospital cancer ward, anyway.

The nurses were different there. They were less scurried and more present. Present enough for one of them to hold my hand when I fell apart and cried. It felt like the illness was a constant roadblock that kept me from moving forward with my life.

I was wrong. The illness would be THE thing that would give me an actual life.

The first night fell and I was alone. It was 11:20 pm when I heard it for the first time. It started as a muffled cry, then suddenly a shout. Then a wave of uncontrollable sobbing. It was from a woman down the ward.

Continue reading “Screw New Years Resolutions – Do This Instead: The Woman in the Ward”

Resilience and My Belly – They Both Bounce Back but Aren’t Exactly Pretty

resilience overcoming stress speaker motivational inspirational virtual Stacy Pederson

I leaped out of bed this morning ready to contribute positive things to this world. Ok. That’s a lie. I hit my alarm for over an hour straight. Then slithered out from under the blankets begrudgingly and trudged all 4,000 miles to the kitchen for a glass of warm water.

 

“I just need to move around”, I thought. I finished laundry. Emptied the dishwasher. Stared out the window a lot. Then made the bed so I wouldn’t crawl back in it.

 

“Focus on others to get you going”, I told myself. I focused on the news. I focused on social media. I focused on how miserable I felt. When I thought, “focus on others” that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. It was more, “focus on helping others”. That usually gets me perked up.

 

Hours later with an audition still to do and ½ finished script still to write, I’ve not done so great today. I have managed to go to the post office, make a smoothie, and research why your stomach gets so fat in your mid-forties. Followed by googling, “do any men like women with fat stomachs”. (Just as an FYI, don’t google stuff like that. I got a little more then I was requesting….)

Continue reading “Resilience and My Belly – They Both Bounce Back but Aren’t Exactly Pretty”

Motivational Speaking: My Morning Routine When Speaking

https://youtu.be/vKg69eDLIjc

 

Above is a video that gives an overview of my morning routine for when I do motivational speaking for out of state events.

I have different routines I’ve developed over time to help get me prepared for a speaking event. One for later in the day events, night events, in-state, out of -state etc.

If you are new speaker or performer who is starting to travel you will develop your own over time.

I remember googling and trying to find ANYTHING that could give me an idea of what to do when I first started traveling as a motivational speaker. I found NOTHING. That’s why I made this first video for you.

If you’d like more videos on motivational speaking, performing (behind the scenes), then you can watch the video here and subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/StacyPederson

Kindly, Stacy P.

Stacy is a Funny Motivational Keynote Speaker who has almost died a bunch. You can read more about her here.

Colorado top female keynote inspirational motivational speakers

How to Improve Your Speaking on Camera With These 4 Tips

You thought you did pretty good when you were speaking and THEN you watched yourself back….

And now you’re googling because you hated everything you saw in your video. I’m glad you stumbled onto this blog post, because I totally understand how you feel.

Hate Seeing Yourself Speaking on Camera

First, good job for making a decision to get better instead of folding up the ‘ol laptop and quitting. Second, there is a LOT that can be worked on but for this blog post we are only focusing on 4 things.

(When you get to # 4, you’ll see why.)

So – quiet on the set – let’s get started.

 

1. It’s normal to hate watching yourself on camera.

how look better when speaking on camera

Even famous actors hate themselves on camera. (Think Joaquin Phoenix storming out of an interview because they showed a clip of him. He refuses to watch himself.)

Unless you’re narcissistic, you don’t normally stare at yourself all day long every day to know what you actually look and sound like. You’re just walking around being you. When you see yourself on camera it’s a shock because you had no idea you look, sounded, or acted that way. And now you’re mortified. Don’t be.

I had an acting coach give me this wonderful advice that I still use to this day. Watch yourself five times. During those five times, stare at your nose, balk at your voice, etc. Get all the cringyness out of everything you see and don’t like about yourself.

THEN, when you’re sick of watching yourself, it’s time to now focus on the message.

Is the message you are conveying important?

Does it come across well? (Not you – the message.)

Is it helpful to someone who may watch it?

If the answer is, “yes” then it’s time to send it out into the world.

Ouch! ….But it’s the truth.

One of the key factors in speaking better on camera is nothing unique or new. It’s good old fashion practice. I know you would love to be perfect and polished the very first time you create a video or present virtually on camera. The truth is, you need to give yourself space and time to grow. This means risking being awkward or embarrassing.

Let’s just say, you are, in fact, truly horrible when speaking on camera. Then get focused, keep reading, practicing, learning and get help to get your first few videos off the ground.

 

 2. Don’t stare at yourself on the screen while speaking, stare THROUGH the camera lens.

speaking in camera virtual presentation tips

We get (or at least I get) distracted and want to stare at myself on Zoom or whatever platform I am speaking or recording on. I also stare at the people who are talking to me.

First, it’s ok to stare at the people talking to you on the screen.

Sounds ideal, however, if you’ve ever tried to take a group photo there’s always someone staring off into la la land. It’s not easy for your eyes to go back and forth and catch the lens. It’s also not easy to focus on one place for a long period of time.

I know it can be hard to suddenly stare at a lens, while speaking AND present well. It can be very jolting trying to keep your eyes focused on ONE thing while doing everything else your mind, body and voice are doing.

One thing I did to get outside of my head and stare at one place was to use sticky notes. I’d place a brightly colored sticky note on a kitchen cabinet, or my office wall. Then practice speaking/staring at it. When I was in the kitchen. I would also cook and clean. Why? If I had to stop and think, it meant I didn’t know my material well enough.

It simply takes practice to train your eyes not to roam all over the place or stare off to the side when you fall back into the thoughts. The more you “train” for it the easier it will become. I promise if you practice enough, you’ll eventually get to a place where you won’t ever think about it anymore.

3. If the fabric on your outfit looks like your Grandmother’s curtains, you probably shouldn’t wear it on camera.

wardrobe for better speaking on camera

The easier you make it for your audience to focus on you while speaking, the better and more apt they are to pay attention longer. If you are blending into a busy background, or your shirt looks like it belongs in the North Pole, you’re making it harder for audiences’ eyes to stay on you while you are speaking.

Think simple. Simple fabrics. Simple colors. Simple backgrounds. This makes YOU pop. This doesn’t mean “neutral” it means simple. You can wear a bright blue shirt, or a solid purple, etc. One color is best.

virtual speaking tips

Perhaps minus the crazy expression…..

I have a bright background and a bright outfit, but it’s only 2 colors. I also wear red lipstick even though it doesn’t match that great. It makes it easier for the audience to stare at me and pay attention.

-Plaid: No

-Birds, Bees and Blooms: No

-Loud patterns: Nope

-Shirts or hats with logos: Only if you have the companies permission

-Layers: Including scarves, jackets, hoodies – anything with lots of fabric: No

-Plunging necklines or open shirts: Please don’t.

-Neutrals: Maybe, but it has to stand out from your background

-All Black: Maybe, but not advised.

-Red: Maybe. but only if it’s your branding.

-Solid colors: Yep

-Simple fabrics: Yep

-Interesting necklines but not a lot of bling: Yep.

My biggest advice is to pay attention to commercials. You will almost always see very simple colors and plain shirts. They match the other actors or the set behind them in complimentary colors, not the same color. This helps you see their smile. (Commercials are all about the smile.)

You can also see upscale solid color outfit ideas by watching a soap opera. Honestly, I don’t even know what still exists out there, but they usually have upscale solids on with simple jewelry. Basically, if you want to present better on camera spend all day in front of the tv watching soap operas. Just don’t skip the commercials.

 

4. DON’T BE BORING!!! Connect with your audience emotionally.

You may think they all are on pins and needles ready to hear your content, but they’re actually not. Sigh. I know….not what you wanted to hear.

The only way to keep your audience –  is to relate to your audience. How do you relate to your audience? You connect with them emotionally. How do you connect with your audience emotionally? Glad you asked. Move on to paragraph #2.

Stories, images, humor, questions, these are all a GREAT places to start.

I want you to think about your favorite movie. I am guessing that the movie made you “feel” something. Whether that was an adrenalin rush, punched you in the gut kind of “moving”, or left you feeling warm and fuzzy.

The content was also of interest to you. Whether it was a period piece, a war zone, or a balcony in New York with two lonely people. you liked the information and setting that came with it.

You already have your content.

How do you add emotional aspects to your videos or virtual presentations? It’s listed in a few sentences above. Stories, images, humor, questions, etc..

Here are some examples of openings that can get your audience connected with you. These are not “virtual” examples, but the concept is relevant:

Humor: This one is mine. The first 5 minutes as my opener. My audience was all women, and the event was billed as a, “Mom’s Night Out”.

This is important because your opener works amazing if you tailor it to who your audience is. I would not give this opener in a tech conference or a leadership training on grit.

https://youtu.be/0bp5C6fVvQs

Here is an example of the use of a questions to get your audience engaged. This is Simon Sinek’s  famous Ted talk that starts with a series of questions. The questions require the audience to draw up images and memory, which also draws out emotion. You will see this strategy used a lot in Ted Talks.

The use of Apple brings the apple image logo to mind. Martin Luther King, JR., draws up memories – which draws out emotion.

https://youtu.be/qp0HIF3SfI4

Here is the use of literal emotion within storytelling. This is Brene Brown’s infamous Ted Talk on vulnerability. Her opener starts with a story where she literally labels feelings out loud. This helps the audience emotionally connect, because they feel those feelings, too. It also makes her more relatable because she is expressing her humanness and showing her literal vulnerability.

https://youtu.be/X4Qm9cGRub0

Finally, images. Slides with data do very little for audience engagement and audience retention. The odds of them remembering those facts a few days after your virtual presentation is not high. However, if an emotional image is attached, the concept or fact is much more likely to stay in their minds.

Here are some examples of photos I use instead of stats or quotes. Each of them evokes an emotion with the image.

I use this image  sometimes as an opener for my Stress talk.

This image is used in regards to the scientific proof of the power of positive relationships. Rather than give stats, I show this. This is easier to remember and more powerful, emotionally, compared to numbers.

Don’t we all sometimes? This photo is used when I speak on difficult relationships, including those in the workplace. It puts a slightly humorous spin on a negative experience or emotion we all have felt or been through.

Overwhelm. Burnout. If the audience has felt the way this woman has in the picture, they are more apt to pay attention to the solutions, compared to me giving stats on workplace burnout and why it’s costing money.

This image points out the “elephant in the room”. When I talk about accepting change in the workplace or starting something new and positive in your life, the truth is most of us feel overwhelmed on where to start. This image gives “sight” to that feeling so we can talk about how to overcome it

Strong word of advice. Do NOT steal images off of google or any other website/platform, etc. Purchase the rights to use them or take photos yourself. These are all adobe photos I have purchased, or have done on my own. Be ethical in your business. It pays off in the long run…

Why have I camped out so much on #4 on connecting emotionally? Because if you go back to tip #1, it’s really not about you when it comes to presenting or speaking on camera. It’s not about your hair or your background – it’s about the heart of your message and conveying that to the people you are trying to help in the best way possible.

By improving your speaking techniques on camera, whether that’s for an online course, YouTube or a live virtual presentation,

Want more tips? Get your FREE “10 Easy Ways to Look Good and Feel Great on Camera”.

You can purchase my online course here: “How to Be Good on Camera: An Easy Guide to Looking Good & Feeling Great on Video”.

Stacy Pederson is a Funny Motivational Keynote Speaker who has almost died a bunch. StacyPederson.com  She is also the founder of BoringtoSoaringSpeeches.com.

The One Important Lesson 2020 Has Taught Us That Will Change Your Life

2020 has been a year of exhaustion, refocus, more exhaustion, more refocus. Pivoting. Being paralyzed. Stressing. Relaxing. Sleeping more. Stressing more. And frankly wondering what in the heck I’m doing.

In quarantine I’ve been like hamster on a wheel. 1,000% in a cage. Going a hundred miles an hour with nowhere to go. The industry I work in vanished overnight. I found the need to create a new “income stream”. Hence the pivoting, refocus, paralysis….At the end, I’ve accomplished very little.

I “should” have handled it better. After all, I know how to do this. Embrace change. Deal with elements I’m not in control of. Live with the fear of losing a lot. I got this down.

And I do “handle it” considering I’ve been down this road before. With all my lack of grace and competency in 2020, I have remembered and held on to something very important.

The greatest lesson I learned in my past trek of getting sick, almost dying, living in financial straits, having PTSD and struggling with depression (how’s that for a positive sentence) is this:

 

In the abundance of fear, illness, lack of control, and stress, many of us have had to face scarcity for the first time in our lives. Scarcity of toilet paper beginning in March, scarcity of space in our homes, scarcity of jobs, scarcity of time, scarcity of support and scarcity of security/stability.

The tendency to hoard, to hold on, to hide out when things are scarce is a natural reaction. Recognizing the abundance you still have is a way to release some of the fear. Release some of the stress.

Abundance helps you release that tight grasp. Abundance helps you move towards a more open heart. A more open hand to give.

In the old days (pre-2020) we didn’t recognize all that we had. It was almost grotesque how much we took for granted. We walked into grocery store and got whatever we wanted, paid our bills, sent our kids to school while we worked, met with friends, watched sports, ate out on Tuesday…Wednesday…pretty much any day so we didn’t have to cook.

Yet we complained because, with all we had, we were still discontent.

Then came 2020. With it came scarcity. We crammed into our houses and had to look at the people we lived with in the eye. Some for the first time in a long time. We looked at the décor on our walls and the items shoved in the back of our closets. We looked at our emails and the news wondering if our jobs were next. We looked at the food we ate, the shows we watched, and the photos of the people we missed. We took a long hard look at our life.

With the lack of space, time, friendships and freedom we began to learn a very important lesson. A lesson contrary to every success book, every entrepreneur “secrets to being amazing”, every advertisement trying to entice us to buy more. A lesson I learned in a hospital bed.

 

 

Let me repeat that: Life happens in the small.

 

-Homeschooling your kids while you worked and finding that little bit of heaven when nobody bothered you in the bathroom for 10 whole minutes. A small thing that meant so much.

-When loneliness crept in and your dog or cat hopped on your lap and looked you in the eye telling you there’s not just you. With him or her there’s always two.

-When taking a walk in the fresh air and open spaces lifted our butts off the bed and our mood in ways we never noticed before. A small thing that changed our whole day.

-When your paycheck came it held more significance. That job you hated was a lifeline you didn’t know you had.

-The phone or zoom call from family or friends – now took top priority.

-When the holidays came and you remembered eating your Grandma’s meal as a child. A small moment in the grand scheme of your life. But now the memories and the meaning hold such sweet abundance.

-Your health meant more. Having 8 rolls of toilet paper meant more. Watching your kids actually grow in front of your literal eyes. It all means more.

-There’s been abundance in our scarcity. Because we are forced to notice all the things we took for granted and missed.

When you think of the happiest moments of your life-most are in the small. Playing outside with your friends until dark. Driving in the front seat of your dad’s pick-up truck. The first time he or she caught your eye. Playing in the snow. Watching the waves. Getting your first small promotion. Laughing uncontrollably with someone you loved. This is where life happened.  In the small.

In 2020 we’ve been faced with scarcity which has caused us to live in the small. This is where the abundance of real life-the good, the bad, and meaningful- all happens.

My hope is as life moves forward into 2021 and we find ourselves in something new, yet all too familiar, that we each remember the lessons we’ve learned.  For so long we blindly believed the lie that more is always better. Bigger house, better job, more money, better body. Push harder. Be more. Do more.

 

May we remember what it meant to be squashed in a house full of people we loved and hated and loved some more. May we remember the value of having a small bowl of soup with someone special that far outweighs a fancy meal in a room full of people we don’t know. May we remember the value of a paycheck our hard work brings. May we remember the feeling of gratitude of having good health. May we remember all the small moments, all the small gifts, that made our life abundant in all the scarcity.

 

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Stacy Pederson is a funny motivational Keynote Speaker, who’s almost died a bunch. 

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