Because I Have it all Together, and Other Lies I Want You to Believe About Me

The Filtered Brand-When “Authenticity” isn’t Real

Does anyone else find it odd we now live in a society where people are praised for showing their true selves?

#nofilter #rawparenting #effyourbeautystandards #truth

 

Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Where being ourselves is normal and having the gall to pretend you’re something you’re not – shocking?

 

I’m not sure where the prison of perfection, or the fear of rejection started for me. I do know they are one and the same. One leads to the other and the other back to the start.

 

I’m in my 40’s now and people said when I reached my 40’s I would be happy. I would come to a place where I wouldn’t care what other people thought and would finally embrace my true self. But with today’s social climate, I find myself more self-conscious than any other time in my life.

 

If I’m not perfect in my parenting, marriage, business, body or life- I risk rejection. Rejection from social media comments, “pointer outers” (those that love to point out other people’s faults) or even risk my business since I’m my brand. Let me repeat that-I’m my brand. Herein lies the problem.

 

Because my business is me, I feel the need to use a “filter”. Filter my mouth, my opinions, my religious beliefs, my inadequacies, and of course my photos. Who wants to hire someone who sucks?

Continue reading “The Filtered Brand-When “Authenticity” isn’t Real”

How to Write Your Blog When You Don’t “Feel” Like It

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let me know when you figure it out, because this blog posts shows I haven’t.

The End

Stacy Pederson is a funny motivational speaker…which is ironic when it comes to motivation. When Stacy’s not blogging, she can be found in Colorado overeating, sleeping and feeling guilty about all of it. You can learn more about her dysfunction at: StacyPederson.com.

What to Do if You’re About to Lose Everything

With over a 90% failure rate in business, it’s hard for me to believe there’s not a slew of people out there feeling desperate…and scared that they’re about to “lose everything”.

First, if you are one of them, I want to say that I am truly sorry you are going through this. It’s no fun. It hurts. It’s scary. BUT, my goal by the end of this article is to give you a little glimmer of hope.

I’ve lost it all. Well, almost. I’ve never lost my kids and for that I’m eternally grateful. I’ve lost my 1st marriage, my home, my job, my health, my ability to walk, my friends, and for a time-I felt like I lost my sanity.  Continue reading “What to Do if You’re About to Lose Everything”

How to Turn Your Dream of Becoming a Speaker into a Workable Plan

How to Turn Your Dream of Becoming a Speaker into a Workable Plan


As a coach, it can be difficult to watch the lack of progress of so many promising speakers. They’ve dreamed for so long about creating a solid, sustainable business, and yet, all they do is dream.

You know the people I’m talking about. They attend conferences, sign up for free webinars, buy paid training, and sometimes even work with a coach or two. And yet week after week, month after month, year after year, they fail to make any progress toward their dreams.

Are they just lazy? No. It’s something worse. They don’t know how to move from a dream to a plan and they’re stuck. I know because I have been there.

Start With the Long-Term

Continue reading “How to Turn Your Dream of Becoming a Speaker into a Workable Plan”

More Important Than Money: Understanding Why You Really Do What You Do

More Important Than Money: Understanding Why You Really Do What You Do

What do super-successful corporate speakers and small business owners, or happy people in general, all have in common?

It’s not experience.

It’s not extraordinary skills.

It’s not even a powerful drive.

Although all of these things can definitely help your business grow, they’re not a prerequisite for success. After all, no one is born with experience or skills, and plenty of successful people lack drive.

The one thing that does make a difference, though, is your “why.”

Why did you decide to become a corporate speaker?

Why do you spend too many hours in front of your computer every week?

Why do you stay up too late and get up too early, just so you can work on growing your business?

The “why” is what ultimately drives us to success, but here’s the thing: it’s different for everyone. Your why is not my why, and my why is not her why. It’s a deeply personal choice that can have great meaning…or not.

For example, a survivor of domestic abuse might happily spend 60 or 70 hours each and every week mentoring other victims of abuse, or counseling couples on how to break the cycle. Her big why is a strong desire to prevent other women from suffering in the same way she did.

A mother of small children may be saddened at the thought of sending her kids to daycare just so she can go to work to (barely) pay for it. Her big why is a drive to spend as much time with her kids as she can, while still supporting her family.

A young, fresh out of school entrepreneur might resist taking the same path her parents took, working for a corporation for 40 years, only to retire and find themselves with barely enough to live on. Instead, she dreams of having the income (and the time) to see the world while she’s still young enough to enjoy it.

So what’s your big “why”? It might be the freedom to travel, the option to spend time with your family, the ability to take weeks off at a time to care for a sick family member, or even to earn enough money to support a charity that’s close to your heart.

Whatever it is, your “why” is the driving force behind every action you take.

-When you’re deciding whether or not to take on a new client, ask yourself if it’s aligned with your “why.”

-When you’re setting goals for the year, ask yourself if those goals are moving you closer or further from your big why.

Why is “why” so important? When facing the “why” gives you the “grit” to keep moving forward. It’s what keeps you going under sometimes seemingly impossible circumstances.

Professional speaking is not easy. It require constant growth, innovation, sales, steadfastness. The work can be tedious, with sometimes what seems like very little pay off. If you know your “why” the “when” and “how” will eventually follow.

This is your one and only life. Only you can decided how to live it well.

 

Stacy Pederson Female Christian Speaker Comedian

Stacy Pederson is a Colorado based Humorist and Funny Motivational Speaker who is incessantly insecure with a chronic Thai Food / Netflix binge habit.

StacyPederson.com

How to Be Happy- Dealing With People Who Are Condescending

Do you have someone in you’re life who you’re never quit sure if they’re being naughty or nice? Someone who says potentially hurtful things in such a polite, smiley way, you can’t tell if they’re being genuinely helpful or hurtful? If they’re being condescending or giving a compliment? Do you ever have that moment where you’re taken aback because you honestly don’t know how to take what was just said?

I do. I’ve never been quick on my feet when it comes to people’s intentions. I tend to see people through a positive lens. Sometimes it’s YEARS later before I finally come to the recognition-that  person was actually being a jerk. What!!??

Perhaps it’s a blessing I’m slow on the uptake. Why? I’m even slower in the moment with a comeback. I’m one of those who, months later at 2 a.m., my head pops of the pillow with the most brilliant reply. Then I have what I call my “Comeback Fantasy” where I get to visualize the entire conversation with me saying what I wish I could have said. And-not to brag or anything-but in my fantasy-I’m freakin’ brilliant.

So what do you do when you have one of those condescending people in your life (assuming you’re forced to be around them by blood, business, or your other BFF’s).

Keep Calm-Smile On: 

-Some people honestly have no idea how they come across. Continue reading “How to Be Happy- Dealing With People Who Are Condescending”

35 Things for Your Kids to Do in the Summer While You’re Working

 

If there is ever a season for zero productivity, internal rage, self doubt, lack of self control, and overall inadequacy as a Mom-preneur (work from home Mom who is an entrepreneur) -it would be summer. Summertime at my house begins with visions of my children in summer dresses frolicking freely in a flowered meadow. Me- smiling as I watch them contently while sitting on a hand knit wool blanket from Ireland with my laptop resting softly in the shade and money flowing freely into my bank account.  Reality usually sets in sometime within the first week of summer. Reality includes  screaming matches through closed doors at my kids….and me ingesting one….ok sometime two…entire bags of BBQ potato chips while getting some…a little…ok sometimes ZERO work done in an entire day.

I work from home…thankfully….unfortunately…(My kids would give you that exact same response.) Below is my typical summer work day I have expertly honed through the years:

-Go to Wal-Mart. Spend a fortune to have a “cheap” summer. Items include bubbles, sprinklers, plastic baseball bats, bug catchers, sidewalk chalk, kites, and any other shiny bright object that appears to have more than 10 minutes of entertainment value. All items must be foldable, collapsible, etc., as they will end up in a filthy heap in my garage that no one will touch after the first week of June.

-Create schedules, sticker charts, “mommy’s working” note for my office door

-Explain to the children the “rules” of when they can bother me and when they can’t

-Make a calendar of all the fun things we will do when Mommy’s not working

-Close my office door to work…and listen to the children start to fight

-Open the door to find out what’s going on. Get them re-situated. Close the office door and listen to them fight.

-Open the door and bring out a new shiny bright object for them to play with

-Close the door and listen to them play for 2 seconds…then fight

-Open the door, yell, slam something new down on the table for them to play with

-Close the door and listen to them complain that they’re bored

-Open the door, kick them outside

-Close the door and watch them fight outside my office window

-Open the window, scream at them to stop fighting because the neighbors can hear them. Close the window and watch them flop down like dejected sloths melting in summer heat and complain that they’re bored.

-Work for 2 seconds and hear a knock on my window. Listen to them ask me to come back inside. I shake my head no. Repeat 872 times.

-Let them back inside 10 minutes later and watch them collapse in a heap in front of electronics

-Close the door and feel guilty I’m working instead of spending time with my kids

-Open the door to see what they’re watching and make awkward conversation. Feel guilty that I’m spending time with my kids instead of working. Go back in my office and close the door.

-Listen to them fight over electronics. Open the door and scream at them they’re lucky they don’t live in a 3rd world country. Give them a lecture. Make them do a chore.

-Go back in the office. Feel guilty. Stress eat. Glance at the time. It’s 9:17 am.

-Repeat hourly…for three months.

I decided I needed some work  “productivity hacks” that were better than what’s previously listed when it came to keeping my kids entertained for little or no money while I worked. I did some extensive scientific research…by posting a sign on my Facebook page…for advice. Here are a few of my favorites from friends and some from “SuperMoms” on the Internet who lie about how perfect their parenting skills/home/and children are:

  1. Library Summer Programs
  2. Geocaching OR painting and finding rocks. Here is an example:
  3. https://www.facebook.com/groups/300625560293159/?fref=mentions
  4. Vacation Bible School (Lots of churches host these and they are extremely inexpensive and a lot of fun. Look for giant VBS signs when you’re driving outside church buildings.)
  5. YMCA-(Usually have internet so you can work while kids swim, do programs, etc. Ours has a coffee shop so I can actually host meetings, too.)
  6. Art Club
  7. Sports Camps through non-profits
  8. Go for evening walks
  9. Flex your work hours to fit in fun
  10. Hiking, biking, swimming, anything that’ll wear them out physically. J
  11. Make summer books. (Love this.)
  12. Use 50% off regular item coupons from craft stores.
  13. Make slime. http://littlebinsforlittlehands.com/homemade-slime-recipe/
  14. Have them make a movie or video with smart phone then watch at dinnertime. Let them use costumes, music, edit, etc.
  15. Match reading hours for Youtube/Video game hours. Example: for every 30 minutes of reading-they get 1 hour of Youtube.
  16. Set up the big tent in the living room. Let them do “camping” overnight.
  17. Have them make homemade board game. Check Pinterest for lots of ideas.
  18. Check local bowling alleys and skating rings for free or nearly free summer bowling programs for kids. Lots have Wi-Fi.
  19. Free E-book for kids on Amazon
  20. Free Lego club for kids
  21. Home Depot, Lowes and Michaels free or nearly free classes for kids
  22. “Photo Walk” through Apple
  23. Microsoft Youth Spark
  24. Whole Foods Kids Cooking Class
  25. Bass Pro Shop Summer Camp
  26. Chores
  27. Volunteer to help an elderly neighbor with their yard. (Can get list of “shut-ins” from local fire department)
  28. Search for local free or nearly free day art camps
  29. Free summer movie nights in the park
  30. Sprinkler
  31. Homemade slip-n-slide
  32. Good ol’ fashioned bubbles
  33. Free printables for kids http://funcheaporfree.com/2016/06/100-summer-activities-for-kids-free-printable-included
  34. Babysitting Co-op
  35. Work while you vacation. I do this A LOT. We’ve spent over a month on the road so far this summer. There’s wifi pretty much everywhere if I need it. I schedule certain days to work where the kids are at the pool/beach, etc. and certain days for fun. OR work in mornings, play in the afternoons. I use this to book my travel: http://bucketlistvacations.tripspin.com/snap
  36. Hire a “Mommy’s Helper” for a few hours each morning, Cheaper than a babysitter or nanny.

*Bonus: #36. Become independently wealthy. Hire 12 nannies. Fly them all to Paris with the kids for the Summer while I get numerous plastic surgery procedures done. Facetime them periodically…so I can listen to them fight. Then hang up and let the Nannies deal with it.

I have found these mindsets helpful:

-Remember kids don’t need to be “entertained” twenty-four seven. It’s good for them to figure out what to do on their own when they’re bored.

-I automatically know summer will not be my most productive months. I try to remember that when I’m feeling guilty about not getting tons done. My kids are only hear for so many years, and I want to spend time with them as much as I can…well-I MAY have moments where I want to spend time as little as I can…but for the most part-I want to be with them and I need to plan my work year accordingly.

-Boundaries are ok. It’s good to lead by example and show the kids the value of working hard. They learn by watching what you do, not by listening to what you say. If you want your kids to know how to work, you yourself have got to do it.

-Give yourself grace. We all have “Mommy Meltdowns” behind closed doors. There’s no such thing as a “SuperMom”. We’re human and we fail. That’s ok.

-Support one another in our Mommy endeavors. No haters needed. Mom’s hate themselves already. We don’t need other people pointing out our imperfections. Find a supportive group you can be real with, encourage each other and help each other out.

Now-if you’ll excuse me. I need to open my office door and yell.

Stacy Pederson Funny Motivational Inspirational Humorist Speaker

Stacy Pederson is a Colorado based Humorist and Funny Motivational Speaker who is incessantly insecure with a chronic Thai Food / Netflix binge habit.

StacyPederson.com

If You Are Not Incorporating These Into Your Speech – You Are Losing Your Audience

To learn more speaking tips subscribe to Stacy’s blog or contact her directly.

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Video Transcript:

“Hi. My name is Stacy Pederson and I’m falling off my stool. Let me sit up straight. All right, that’s a fabulous intro. But my name is Stacy Pederson and I’m a funny speaker, a clean comedian, and acting and speech coach. Today, I want to share with you learning styles. What is learning styles? We all learn certain things different ways and how I discovered this was I used to teach children acting. I created curriculum for an acting school that I co-founded. Then I also was involved in children’s ministry for many years and I wrote a lot of the curriculum for that. I discovered that there’s really three specific learning styles of how we can take in information and retain it.

You’ve probably heard of it, but just in case you haven’t there’s auditory learners, which is listening, there is visual learners, which is seeing, and then there is kinesthetic learners, which is kind of a tactile, you have to move, you have to be doing something in order to retain information. So for you, if you recognize that you fidget a lot, that’s me, I’m very kinesthetic, if you have to write certain things down or you won’t remember even if you never looked at your notes again, or you got to move like pace in some way in order to retain information, you’re kinesthetic.

If you need to see something visual like you’re listening to the radio and you have a really hard time paying attention, podcast, things like that, are not your thing you either need to read the book or you need to see the video. You need PowerPoint slides to be able to retain the message, then you’re visual. Then if you love listening to podcasts and anything that doesn’t require you to move, or you can totally track with a speaker without even really needing to see them, there’s a good chance you’re auditory. A lot of people make the mistake when they give speeches and really just focusing on the auditory with an occasional PowerPoint slide. I have a really hard time. I’m totally ADD, if I was gonna be honest.

So for me, I have such a hard time paying attention especially if it’s anything longer than 20 minutes. That’s the average attention span, really, is they it’s 20 minutes, but it’s actually shortening with each of the generation’s coming up younger and younger. So if you’re gonna be talking for 25, like a Ted Talk, or 60 or a 90-minute keynote or presentation, you’re gonna lose a lot of people in the room if you don’t switch up your learning styles. So do your PowerPoints help? Absolutely. PowerPoint slides can help as long as they’re not super boring and it’s just words on the screen reiterating what you just said. If your PowerPoint slides are nothing but bullet points it’s not helping. You’re gonna want to think outside that PowerPoint box and come up with something visual.

If that’s not something that comes easy to you then I recommend hiring someone or asking just someone that you work with or someone you know that’s a little more creative, that’s a little more in tuned to visual arts then I would ask their opinion and their help because something like a really powerful image can really stick in the minds of the visual learner. That’s something that they’ll walk away with, remembering that particular image and that’s how they’ll remember your takeaway point is because of the visual you gave them, not just words on a screen. That also comes into play if you should choose to use props.

Props are something that you have on the stage that you either hold in your hand, that would be called a personal prop, or that you can use to demonstrate a visual with that helps share the story, that helps bring home the point. Basically, to be used as a metaphor. That can help visual learners as well. For tactile learners, this is where group engagement can help where you have them break apart and discuss around their tables because they’re actually get to move a little bit. Taking notes, a lot of people don’t take notes anymore because they’re typing either on their phone or their iPad. But it actually requires the handwriting to be able to retain some of that. So this is just one of the things I’ve been using in one of my recent talks about …

One of my talks is that how to be happy when your life is a mess. One of the key elements of being happy when your life is a mess is something called flow. So what I did was I just came up with this think business card. As you can see, this is the back. Then when you flip it over it just says it’s always a good idea, which I think on this screen it’s gonna read backwards. But basically through this exercise that I tell them they have to write something down that is always a good idea for them to engage in when they’re struggling. So it would be like go for a hike or play a sport or you know, pull out a musical instrument. It’s always a good idea. But it’s the actual act of writing that helps those kinesthetic learners take the point home.

How I know this works is I just gave a speech … Well, I gave two speeches this week and both times I had a couple people come up to me and say, “Wow, that card,” and that’s what they talked about. That was their takeaway and how they were gonna keep it. I knew that they is a really good chance they were kinesthetic learners because they didn’t talk about any of the other stuff. They didn’t talk about the visuals, the logos, the images, or any of the other stuff. So that’s something that you’re always gonna want to incorporate is are you hitting those three learning styles. If you’re not and you’re just focusing on auditory then you’re losing 70% of the room sometimes. So you’re gonna really want to pay attention to that.

Again, my name is Stacy Pederson. You are welcome to subscribe to my YouTube channel if you’d like to have more speaking tips if you are a sales presenter or an executive or you give speeches, deliver speeches, maybe even an author trying to get into the speaking circle. If you could follow me there or on my blog at stacypederson.com. If you’ve seen any of my other videos, you’ll hear me say, “That’s Pederson with a D.” P-E-D not Peterson. You could follow me there. I always have a link below because nobody can ever spell my name. So three learning styles, make sure you’re incorporating those. Thanks so much.

 

Why You Shouldn’t Thank People When You Stand Up to Give A Speech – Public Speaking Speech Tips

To learn more speaking tips subscribe to Stacy’s blog or contact her directly.

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Video Transcript:

“Hi, my name is Stacy Pederson. I am a clean comedian, a funny speaker, and an acting and speech coach. Today, I want to share with you why I think it’s a terrible idea to give a standard introduction thanking people when you first step onstage. When you first step onstage, you have eight seconds, eight seconds, to grab the audience’s attention. Then you have 30, 60, 90 seconds, three minutes, five minutes, and eight minutes. So I’m going to repeat that. It’s 30 seconds, 60 seconds, 90 seconds, three minutes, five minutes, and eight minutes, and within those standard timeframes, you need to hit certain marks or certain levels in your speech in order to not only grab your audience’s attention but to maintain it and then win them over to want to listen to you for the remainder of your speech. If you haven’t won them over by eight minutes, you’re not going to win them over pretty much guaranteed, so would you waste that first 30, 60, 90 seconds coming onstage and shuffling your papers and getting situated at the podium and then turning and thanking the person who introduced you and maybe acknowledging all the other people in the room? It’s quite boring because most people do that.

So instead, you’re going to want to walk onstage and come up with a really catchy opener for the first eight seconds, 30, 60, and then 90 seconds. I personally try and wait till the three minute mark before I loop back around to acknowledge and thank the people that have helped bring me up or the people in the room, the audience especially, I really appreciate the audience being there and being willing to give me their attention and time, so I want to draw them in as well. So always try to have some interesting, whether it’s a joke, whether it’s a funny story, but it needs to be something the audience can relate to, something unique about maybe the things that they’re eating for a meal if it happens to be over lunch or at dinner. You’re going to want to take those first 30, 60, 90 seconds to bring a surprise element. Like I said, it can be humor or funny, just something interesting, even a video, something unique or maybe a funny prop so that you catch their attention and then really after the 90 seconds, you can give the thank yous, but if you can hold out till three minutes doing something fun and unique for those first three minutes, you’ll really win that audience over. And then they’ll be ready to listen and to acknowledge the fact that you’re acknowledging them and other people in the room.

You’re welcome to follow me. I’ll have more speaking tips for any of you who give sales presentations or speeches whether that’s for a profession or you’re required to for your job, you’re welcome to subscribe to my channel. You can also follow me on my blog at stacypederson.com, that’s Pederson with a D. I have to say that every video. I’m going to have a link below, so good luck and no intros when you first come on. Don’t be boring.”

Why You Shouldn’t Use Sports Stories and Analogies in Your Speech – Speaker Public Speaking Tips

 

To learn more about speaking tips from Stacy, subscribe to her blog, or contact her directly:

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Video Transcript:

“Hello, my name is Stacy Pederson. I am a clean comedian, a funny speaker, and an acting and speech coach. Today, this video is going to be geared a little bit more to men, because I’m going to be talking about a little faux pas, which is telling sports stories in your speech or sales presentation. I know, shock, right? Why would that be a bad thing? Well, most of the time, it’s not a bad thing. However, a lot of speakers, or sales presenters, kind of fall back on giving the old standard sports joke, or something new that’s trending in sports, or just that motivational sports story. And that can be great, depending on, this is the important part, who your audience is.

Number one, if you have a mixed gender audience where you have both men and women in the audience, I strongly caution against using a sports analogy. Why? Because most of us women who have sat through more than one male speaker have heard a million sports analogies, and a lot of us, not all of us, some of us really do like sports. But a lot of us don’t care. We don’t relate to, at all.

The second thing is that, even if you are in an audience that is all men, there are actually men who don’t really care too much about sports. So, after a while, when you’ve sat through a lot of speeches, or a lot of presentations, it can almost become somewhat offensive, because we’ve heard it so often. It’s such a standard go-to to bring in the sports world and the sports realm.

So, what should you do? Again, you should really know who your audience is. If you happen to be in a field where you know everyone in that room is going to love sports, then go for it. That’s fantastic. If you know a majority of the room, 75%, 85% of the people in the room who follow sports, love sports, would be very interested, would get your jokes, would get your sports analogies, again-go for it.

But, I would actually acknowledge the people, that 25% or 30%, or 15% in the room, who may not get it. Even just by a simple line saying, I know not everyone’s into sports, but I feel this fits my speech, or my point, because of x, y, and z, and lay it out, and then share your story.

And then, I would say if you have less than 75%, less than 60, less than 50, think about, you can still use a sports analogy, but bring another analogy in as well. A different metaphor, a different analogy, a different realm. No, it doesn’t have to be fashion, makeup, if you have girls in there. You don’t have to go that route. But just something that you know at least 75% of your audience can relate to.

I’ve never heard any speech coach talk about that, but I know for myself, I know from listening to other women, and from quite a few men, that it does sometimes become offensive. So, I thought I would just throw that out there, because there’s a good chance you may have never heard that at all, about why you should not, or be careful, about when you use sports analogies.

You could follow me, I have more speech tips, if you have to give sales presentations or you’re an executive, or you’re just a speaker. Just. Or you’re just a speaker. You can subscribe to my channel. You could also follow me on my blog at stacypederson.com, and that’s Pederson with a D.”

 

Humorist Funny Speaker Stacy Pederson How to be happy