Because I Have it all Together, and Other Lies I Want You to Believe About Me

When You Don’t Like Someone: I Fell in a Prairie Dog Hole – True Story

When you don’t like someone: when you don't like someone Stacy Pederson funny female motivational inspirational keynote speaker

I fell in a Prairie dog hole.

Some people hurt themselves running marathons, fighting wars, battling blazes, or reaching up to grab a cup off the shelf. Others of us hurt ourselves falling in prairie dog holes.

I was taking my dog Hazel for a walk. Now, I know what you’re thinking:

“Why were you walking out in the open prairie.”

I wasn’t. I was less than one block from my apartment building. I live in annoyingly white suburb that has as much diversity as a typical NFL coaching staff.

Hazel and I were meandering along the sidewalk when I caught a glimpse of another dog and it’s owner ahead. I, doing the correct thing, (since my dog is crazy) stepped off the sidewalk to make way for them and proceeded to fall directly into a prairie dog hole.

Continue reading “When You Don’t Like Someone: I Fell in a Prairie Dog Hole – True Story”

Motivational Speaking: My Morning Routine When Speaking

 

Above is a video that gives an overview of my morning routine for when I do motivational speaking for out of state events.

I have different routines I’ve developed over time to help get me prepared for a speaking event. One for later in the day events, night events, in-state, out of -state etc.

If you are new speaker or performer who is starting to travel you will develop your own over time.

I remember googling and trying to find ANYTHING that could give me an idea of what to do when I first started traveling as a motivational speaker. I found NOTHING. That’s why I made this first video for you.

If you’d like more videos on motivational speaking, performing (behind the scenes), then you can watch the video here and subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/StacyPederson

Kindly, Stacy P.

Stacy is a Funny Motivational Keynote Speaker who has almost died a bunch. You can read more about her here.

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The One Important Lesson 2020 Has Taught Us That Will Change Your Life

2020 has been a year of exhaustion, refocus, more exhaustion, more refocus. Pivoting. Being paralyzed. Stressing. Relaxing. Sleeping more. Stressing more. And frankly wondering what in the heck I’m doing.

In quarantine I’ve been like hamster on a wheel. 1,000% in a cage. Going a hundred miles an hour with nowhere to go. The industry I work in vanished overnight. I found the need to create a new “income stream”. Hence the pivoting, refocus, paralysis….At the end, I’ve accomplished very little.

I “should” have handled it better. After all, I know how to do this. Embrace change. Deal with elements I’m not in control of. Live with the fear of losing a lot. I got this down.

And I do “handle it” considering I’ve been down this road before. With all my lack of grace and competency in 2020, I have remembered and held on to something very important.

The greatest lesson I learned in my past trek of getting sick, almost dying, living in financial straits, having PTSD and struggling with depression (how’s that for a positive sentence) is this:

 

In the abundance of fear, illness, lack of control, and stress, many of us have had to face scarcity for the first time in our lives. Scarcity of toilet paper beginning in March, scarcity of space in our homes, scarcity of jobs, scarcity of time, scarcity of support and scarcity of security/stability.

The tendency to hoard, to hold on, to hide out when things are scarce is a natural reaction. Recognizing the abundance you still have is a way to release some of the fear. Release some of the stress.

Abundance helps you release that tight grasp. Abundance helps you move towards a more open heart. A more open hand to give.

In the old days (pre-2020) we didn’t recognize all that we had. It was almost grotesque how much we took for granted. We walked into grocery store and got whatever we wanted, paid our bills, sent our kids to school while we worked, met with friends, watched sports, ate out on Tuesday…Wednesday…pretty much any day so we didn’t have to cook.

Yet we complained because, with all we had, we were still discontent.

Then came 2020. With it came scarcity. We crammed into our houses and had to look at the people we lived with in the eye. Some for the first time in a long time. We looked at the décor on our walls and the items shoved in the back of our closets. We looked at our emails and the news wondering if our jobs were next. We looked at the food we ate, the shows we watched, and the photos of the people we missed. We took a long hard look at our life.

With the lack of space, time, friendships and freedom we began to learn a very important lesson. A lesson contrary to every success book, every entrepreneur “secrets to being amazing”, every advertisement trying to entice us to buy more. A lesson I learned in a hospital bed.

 

 

Let me repeat that: Life happens in the small.

 

-Homeschooling your kids while you worked and finding that little bit of heaven when nobody bothered you in the bathroom for 10 whole minutes. A small thing that meant so much.

-When loneliness crept in and your dog or cat hopped on your lap and looked you in the eye telling you there’s not just you. With him or her there’s always two.

-When taking a walk in the fresh air and open spaces lifted our butts off the bed and our mood in ways we never noticed before. A small thing that changed our whole day.

-When your paycheck came it held more significance. That job you hated was a lifeline you didn’t know you had.

-The phone or zoom call from family or friends – now took top priority.

-When the holidays came and you remembered eating your Grandma’s meal as a child. A small moment in the grand scheme of your life. But now the memories and the meaning hold such sweet abundance.

-Your health meant more. Having 8 rolls of toilet paper meant more. Watching your kids actually grow in front of your literal eyes. It all means more.

-There’s been abundance in our scarcity. Because we are forced to notice all the things we took for granted and missed.

When you think of the happiest moments of your life-most are in the small. Playing outside with your friends until dark. Driving in the front seat of your dad’s pick-up truck. The first time he or she caught your eye. Playing in the snow. Watching the waves. Getting your first small promotion. Laughing uncontrollably with someone you loved. This is where life happened.  In the small.

In 2020 we’ve been faced with scarcity which has caused us to live in the small. This is where the abundance of real life-the good, the bad, and meaningful- all happens.

My hope is as life moves forward into 2021 and we find ourselves in something new, yet all too familiar, that we each remember the lessons we’ve learned.  For so long we blindly believed the lie that more is always better. Bigger house, better job, more money, better body. Push harder. Be more. Do more.

 

May we remember what it meant to be squashed in a house full of people we loved and hated and loved some more. May we remember the value of having a small bowl of soup with someone special that far outweighs a fancy meal in a room full of people we don’t know. May we remember the value of a paycheck our hard work brings. May we remember the feeling of gratitude of having good health. May we remember all the small moments, all the small gifts, that made our life abundant in all the scarcity.

 

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Stacy Pederson is a funny motivational Keynote Speaker, who’s almost died a bunch. 

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How to Deal With Post Election Anxiety

Has the 2020 election gotten you filled with anxiety or uncertainty? These 7 tips will help you feel better about life no matter who is elected. For those of you who know me-this video isn’t super funny-but hopefully super helpful.

Video Transcript:
Do you find yourself being swept up in the election and post-election drama because X candidate is winning or has won? Well, then this video is for you. We’re going to go over seven things to help reframe the way you’re thinking to help ground you and get you out of that post-election anxiety. Before we begin, please like, subscribe, and share if you find this video helpful.

Okay. First of all, I do have to confess that I am filming this on Monday, the day before the election, because I’m smart. I’m actually having surgery on Tuesday, which is a really smart thing to do because I will be knocked out cold. Then, the following few days I will be on prescription narcotics, which means I’m not going to care what’s happening in the world for those days. Should this video be tone deaf, I will take it down but I have a feeling it won’t be regardless of who wins or what happens.

First thing is, number one, is to stop the catastrophic thinking. Okay. You hear it from either side, whichever candidate wins, they have this catastrophic end of the world thinking like, “Oh my gosh, we’re going to be led by a dictator or Hitler and there’s going to be dead babies in the street. Everything we know is over because X candidate has won. The world is over.”

My question to you is, is it though? Is the world really over? Here’s what I want you to do. Just work with me, I know nobody really wants to do this but just try this. I want you to put your feet squarely on the ground and take a deep breath. Seriously, do it. Put your feet on the ground, take a deep breath. Okay. Now look down at your feet. Do you have feet? Do you have legs? Do you have hands that work? Obviously, your heart is beating and your brain is working because you wouldn’t be watching this video.

Now I want you to look around. Are you out of the cold? Do you have a place that if it rains you’re not going to get wet? Have you eaten today? Do you have people in your house that you love, whether that’s a pet or a friend? Do you have people in your life that contribute positive things to you that you could reach out to? When you look out the window, do you see the sun or the rain or the trees? Is the mountain still there, is the ocean still there? If it is, the world is not over. Okay? That is catastrophic thinking. No matter what candidate wins, the world doesn’t care, nature’s still moving on like nothing happened because it’s not that big of a deal.

Number two, because that just leads us right into number two, is don’t give your power away. When you do the catastrophic thinking of, “Oh my gosh, the world has ended and now this candidate is going to blah, blah, blah.” No. Who’s responsible for your life? You. Really, the only thing you have control over with the politics is to vote and if you care about a certain aspect of policies or whatever’s happening then you can peacefully protest or help write new laws and become involved in that sense. If you’re just sitting at home, really, you’re giving your power away by saying your life is ruined because X candidate won. You are responsible for you and the actions that you take from morning ’til night, that’s on you.

That leads us right into number three which is, “Hey, guess what, American citizens, we’re not that special.” I know. Shocker. We’re not the center of the universe. Sometimes us US citizens are really narcissistic but the truth is we’re not that special. For thousands of years, since the beginning of time, there has been some pretty hideous leaders, probably more bad leaders than good leaders. Terrible kings and dictators and all those things and guess what? People still fell in love. Babies were still born. Music was still made in song. Art was still created. Literature was still written. Science was still progressed despite bad leadership.

Really, when you think about, “Hey, how much does the government have to do with my day-to-day life? Unless you’re a conspiracy theorist and you’re like, “They dictate everything.” No, they don’t, you do. It’s just no matter who’s in charge and what policies change you have the capacity to still live a good life because this has been going on since the beginning of time. It’s not that big of a deal. We’re not that special to somehow miss having bad leaders once in a while.

Which leads me to number four, is that nostalgia is not real. What I mean by that is, I don’t know about your grandparents but I would hear, “Kids these days. Back when I was a kid, we never blah, blah, blah.” You hear that now. We’re like, “Our country was so amazing since the beginning, blah, blah, blah, and now it’s in ruins.” No. Our country was never perfect awesome ever, since the time it was created. I live in Colorado and there’s trails that are littered with dead bodies, graves of pioneers who came over here and they all died in their mid-thirties of the flu or childbirth or starvation.

There was saloons and there were whore for houses, and that was in the United States of America. Look what we did at the native Americans. We had slavery, we fought Wars. We’ve been through The Great Depression. We have not always been so amazing and awesome. We always have had ups and downs. This whole nostalgia that our country’s gone to pot isn’t exactly accurate. We have it pretty good compared to where we were 200 years ago in a lot of ways.

Which leads me to number five, and that is to nix the all or nothing thinking. What I mean by that is that naturally we like to think we’re right so I’m right and you’re wrong. I’m good and you’re bad or you’re evil. When it comes to the political parties, you hear that over again. “All Democrats are straight from the devil, all Republicans are backwoods idiots. No, they’re not. There are good Democrats and bad Democrats, and there are good Republicans and bad Republicans. There’s good policies on each side and bad policies on the other. This whole it’s all or nothing, it’s my way or no way is really emotionally an unintelligent way to think. It really is, because you and I, we all have good in us, we all have bad in us and that’s just the way the world works.

That leads me really into number six, which is because when we get into this all or nothing thinking, we’re like, “My way’s the right way,” there’s just a lot of anger there and you see that over and over again, especially this election, all this anger. Anger has never convinced anyone of anything. Have you ever in your life thought, “Wow, you’re so angry. I totally am convinced now because of your anger.” Never. Whenever somebody’s angry you’re like, “Okay, that person’s a jerk, I want nothing to do with them. You shut down and you no longer listen to them. All this screaming and yelling, whether you’re doing it on Facebook and calling people names, and Twitter, and no one’s listening because everybody’s angry, that really comes from that all or nothing thinking.

When you recognize that there are good to both parties and there’s rationalization to each side, whether you choose to agree with it or not but you can respect people’s differences, that’s when we can unite and come together as a country. Don’t use anger and don’t use that all or nothing. You’re not perfect, I’m not perfect, one party’s not perfect, the other party’s not perfect. Same with whoever is the president, whoever gets elected.

That leads me to number seven, which is to check your motives. What I mean by that is a lot of us contribute to the chaos, I do too sometimes. This potentially could be contributing to the chaos but I really think that through a lot when I talk about something controversial. I really weigh in how much of my do I really believe in this to contribute. What I mean is, if you’re doing these nasty Facebook posts like, “The world’s now over my candidate didn’t win and now they’re going to dah, dah, dah.” You’re posting conspiracy theories, just a lot of hate and anger or despair, you’re contributing to the chaos. I’m asking you why, why do you want to do that? Is it to make yourself look smarter than other people? Is it just to vent or can you contribute to the solution, which is being positive and doing good and kind things to make positive change.

Really, so my solution for that, and really for all of this is not to get swept up because I’m going to recap here. Just hang on, I’m going to recap. Is Not to get swept up but, finally, do good things. This is kind of like a number eight bonus. Just do good things. You will never regret being kind, ever. How many times have you regretted being angry? You will never regret being kind and doing positive things for other people, ever. It’s always the opposite. When you’re selfish and mean and it’s your way you regret that?

Let’s recap. How do you deal with this anxiety? Gratitude. When I walked you through putting your feet on the floor and looking at your legs and is my heart still beating and is the world still turning, that is practicing gratitude. When the world feels really out of control you have to start really, really small like, is the sun still shining? Is the world still turning? Do I have food? Do I have my own toothbrush? That is gratitude. That right there is one of the number one ways to help you calm down and then really taking personal responsibility.

When I said you’re giving too much of your power away, what I mean is take personal responsibility for your life. Again, practice gratitude, take personal responsibility for your own life rather than blaming everything on the government or thinking the government’s going to change everything for you. They’re not. Just remember big picture thinking, so when I said we’re not that special and nostalgia isn’t real, that’s big picture thinking. When you look in the big picture, you’re like, “Oh yeah, I guess it’s not as big of a deal as I’m making it in the moment because this has happened for hundreds of years and thousands of years and so forth.”

Really, just that all or nothing thinking, it’s really about contributing good things and kindness. It’s being open and to other people’s point of views, whether you agree with it or not, it’s just respecting that not everybody is like you. When you live like I’m right and everybody’s taking things away from me, you live like this, and I don’t want to live like that. I don’t know about you, I want to live like this, open and kind and loving to new opportunities, to new relationships, to new people, to a good and positive life. That comes from being open-hearted whether I agree with you or not, but that I respect you in a kind and loving way. I don’t know who’s going to win but I hope this video helps. Just, you got this, it’s going to be okay.

#ImSpeaking – Why These 2 Words Define Kamala Harris’s VP Run

I don’t care which side of the aisle you are on. Republican. Democrat. This isn’t about politics. This is about legacy. And a voice.

Last night when the world was tucked away in bed, I lay in awe. I now live in a time where my daughter could see a beautiful, intelligent African and South Asian American woman, speak at a Vice Presidential Debate. My daughter could see someone who looks like her.

It wasn’t her ethnicity alone that made the night memorable; it was what she said that stole the show for me. (I’ll give props to the fly, though. Best walk on roll ever.)

“Mr. Vice President, I’m speaking.”

There it was. Hundreds of years of oppression, racism, and strife. To finally be heard on a stage in a bid for one of the highest honors/positions in our country.

The women who were sold and placed on a boat. The immigrant women of a myriad of ethnicities who came by ship or plane. The women who worked the fields. The women who worked the home. The women who worked the factories. The women who had no voice. The women who had no vote.

The women who sat on a bus, who were arrested, who picketed, who shattered glass ceilings. The women who slowly but steadily started using their voice.

The women who believed in their daughters and granddaughters. Who modeled work ethic, resilience, intelligence and hope. The women who didn’t speak with words but spoke by the sweat of their brow.

Because of these women who fought to be heard in the workplace, their home, their community. Because of the women who used written words, spoken words, musical words, art that spoke for them, we heard for the first-time last night:

“Mr. Vice President, I’m speaking.” And she was heard.

Today, many of us do have a voice. But many women still don’t. From the Dalit woman in India to the sex workers in Cambodia. The young girls not allowed to have an education to the elderly women in nursing homes alone and afraid because of Covid. The women who are still seen as second class. The single mother who cleans your home or bags your groceries. The woman who is trapped in an abusive relationship. The woman who is shamed for her body being too big or too small.

The women who are afraid to raise their voice in fear of retribution, name calling, or being seen as a “b***”.

These women still have a voice that needs to be heard.

We- who have a voice-need to speak on their behalf. To model. To give hope.

We who have a voice need to-

Do the work.

 Move the needle.

 Cast the vote.

As the first African American and South Asian American, Kamala Harris spoke the words countless women before her worked so hard to say-

“I’m Speaking.” 

And the world heard.

 

Stacy Pederson is a Funny Motivational Speaker who has almost died a bunch. 

 

Easter 2020 Love and Loss-It’s OK

Photo of My Sister and I.

I wasn’t myself last Friday. I was too blunt. I didn’t listen. I felt restless. Most of all I felt tired. So, I slept for 12 hours straight.

Yep. In a world that idolizes productivity, I laid like a slug and did nothing but sucked up time.

Sunday, I felt sad and restless. Monday even sadder. What?! Me? A motivational speaker who teaches people how to be happy? Yep. And I was fine with it.

Why? Because:

You can’t love without loss.

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I walked outside a lot Sunday and Monday thinking about daffodils and little girls in Easter dresses. Boys running rampant grabbing candy filled eggs. Grandparents in their Sunday best asking, “What?” every 5 seconds on the sofa.

How different this year will be.

No half-eaten ham left on the table. No tiny colorful candy wrappers scattered on the floor where the kids counted their candy. No shoving the leftover deviled eggs in the refrigerator, so no one gets food poisoning. No fruit filled jello mold-which truthfully, I’m fine with.

We all have rituals this time of year. Whether it’s celebrating the Passover, listening to elderly “Mrs. So and So” sing hymns way to loud at the back of the choir, or listening to your drunk Uncle’s conspiracy theory tangents for a pleasant holiday meal.

We come together this time of year, different cultures, races, religions, and celebrate traditions that make us unique- but also make us one.

Yet-here we are. April 2020.

Now every blog writer, motivational speaker, etc., knows here is where I insert the BUT and spin everything into a positive take away for you in order to keep you reading.

But I’m not going to do that….yet. I’m going to take it a step further.

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Stay with me. (I promise this gets to be about you soon.)

As I said, life is about love. You can’t love without loss.

When you hear older people reflect on their regrets in life, it’s usually about chasing after things that didn’t matter or choosing the safer route in their day to day living. Choosing career over children. Choosing protection over pursuit. Choosing being right over relationship.

Looking back, they know something many of us don’t know. It’s something you won’t hear about from those with a “success mindset”, either.

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Life is really about love. Love is a driving force in all of our lives from birth to death.

We long to be loved despite our flaws. We strive to love other people despite their flaws…or the cost. We long for a loving community. A loving world.

Real religion is about love. Relationships are about love. We are born needing, wanting, and thriving on love.

This is not wishful thinking. Most of the choices we make are bound by one thing-to be loved or to display our love.

We want to be beautiful, successful, thinner, wealthier. Why? So that we’re “easier to love”.

We work, we sacrifice. Why? For those we love.

Love risks, and most often, requires loss. Loss of self. Loss of security. Loss of time. Loss of control. Loss of the ability to prevent ourselves from experiencing pain.

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In my faith as a Christian, we celebrate Easter as the ultimate example of love-Jesus’ love. A love that displayed the ultimate loss – life itself on a cross.

Real love is a unique combination of sorrow and satisfaction. Service and sacrifice. Beauty and brokenness. Loyalty and freedom. Life giving and soul wrenching.

We’ve experienced this perhaps with a parent or grandparent. In loving a child. A spouse. The military. A neighbor. A friend.

And now by healthcare workers across the globe.

Many of us are experiencing loss right now. Loss of stability. Loss of routines. Loss of a job. Loss of face to face relationships. Loss of identity. Loss of a sense of purpose. Unfortunately, some are also facing the heart wrenching loss of a loved one.

Now truer than ever is the ol’ line, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

If you are experiencing the feelings of loss or grief-it may be because you loved something you didn’t even know you loved.

Loss is often mixed with sorrow. I looked up the origins of word “sorrow” and according to etymononline.com, it comes from words meaning, “grief, regret, anxiety” and “illness”.

If you find yourself-especially during this time of celebration-struggling with anxiety, grief, regret, or a sense of loss, it may be a sign that shows you- you loved.

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You loved your family despite how maddening they are. You love the work involved in setting up a holiday and celebrating it. You loved the traditions that make it uniquely yours.

You loved your job even though you thought you hated it. You loved your freedom to walk among people without fear. You loved your friends. You loved your family. You loved a lot of things about your life.

You loved. And this is a good thing.

When people say to focus on the positive but you find yourself with unexplainable sadness or feelings of anxiety or loss, this means you are a human who has loved fully and for a time- have lost much. And this is ok. 

Now, for the part I promised-the bright side. Back to my Christian faith-Jesus loved to the point of losing His life. He did it to bring life-a more abundant life.

During this season we may struggle with loss but it is just a season.

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Next year, when the daffodils bloom, the brightly colored candy jar is filled, children are running amuck, and people are arguing in the living room, we will have a new take-a new life on old traditions.

We will have the gift of gratitude. We often discover gratitude during loss. Studies show gratitude is a key ingredient to a living a long-term happy life.

All of the things we took for granted will appear different now. Things that aren’t meaningful fall to wayside. Appreciating the small will become a large part of who we as individuals and even a nation can become.

You’ve lost because you’ve loved. With loss comes gratitude. With gratitude comes love. 

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This is the cycle that makes life both rich and beautiful. 

This is why when I go for my walks I am ok with being a little sad. I recognize it’s a part of the process. Because with death of the old comes new life. Life more abundant.

My Easter prayer this year is that you will discover:

What it is you have loved. 

What it is you have lost. 

What it is you have to be grateful for. 

So that this time next year-you will have a more abundant, happy, rich, and meaningful life.

 

Stacy Pederson Corporate Funny Keynote Comedian Speaker Speakers

Stacy Pederson is a Funny Motivational Speaker who has almost died a bunch. 

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Top 5 Most Misunderstood Mom Phrases – Quarantine Help for Moms

Have a mom or wife or S.O. in your life you don’t always understand? Does she seem like she’s losing it during quarantine?

Helping bring peace into your home by explaining the “Top 5 Most Misunderstood Mom Phrases”.

 

Stacy Pederson is a Funny Motivational Speaker who’s almost died a bunch. Learn more here.

Stacy Pederson

 

 

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