Because I Have it all Together, and Other Lies I Want You to Believe About Me

When You Don’t Like Someone: I Fell in a Prairie Dog Hole – True Story

When you don’t like someone: when you don't like someone Stacy Pederson funny female motivational inspirational keynote speaker

I fell in a Prairie dog hole.

Some people hurt themselves running marathons, fighting wars, battling blazes, or reaching up to grab a cup off the shelf. Others of us hurt ourselves falling in prairie dog holes.

I was taking my dog Hazel for a walk. Now, I know what you’re thinking:

“Why were you walking out in the open prairie.”

I wasn’t. I was less than one block from my apartment building. I live in annoyingly white suburb that has as much diversity as a typical NFL coaching staff.

Hazel and I were meandering along the sidewalk when I caught a glimpse of another dog and it’s owner ahead. I, doing the correct thing, (since my dog is crazy) stepped off the sidewalk to make way for them and proceeded to fall directly into a prairie dog hole.

Continue reading “When You Don’t Like Someone: I Fell in a Prairie Dog Hole – True Story”

Easy Questionnaire to Help You Find Your “Uniquity”

 

Are you A or B?

 

  1. Do you know who you are? Do you have a clear direction of where your life is headed? Do you wake up each morning knowing your life “plan” or “purpose”, which allows you to overcome difficult obstacles? Do you know what calms you down when you are stressed? Do you know what makes you happy?
  2. Do you feel clouded, confused, burnt out, or that you’re simply floating or surviving through life?

Continue reading “Easy Questionnaire to Help You Find Your “Uniquity””

How to Write Your Blog When You Don’t “Feel” Like It

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let me know when you figure it out, because this blog posts shows I haven’t.

The End

Stacy Pederson is a funny motivational speaker…which is ironic when it comes to motivation. When Stacy’s not blogging, she can be found in Colorado overeating, sleeping and feeling guilty about all of it. You can learn more about her dysfunction at: StacyPederson.com.

What to Do if You’re About to Lose Everything

With over a 90% failure rate in business, it’s hard for me to believe there’s not a slew of people out there feeling desperate…and scared that they’re about to “lose everything”.

First, if you are one of them, I want to say that I am truly sorry you are going through this. It’s no fun. It hurts. It’s scary. BUT, my goal by the end of this article is to give you a little glimmer of hope.

I’ve lost it all. Well, almost. I’ve never lost my kids and for that I’m eternally grateful. I’ve lost my 1st marriage, my home, my job, my health, my ability to walk, my friends, and for a time-I felt like I lost my sanity.  Continue reading “What to Do if You’re About to Lose Everything”

Stop Being Your Own Worst Co-Worker/ Boss

Mama-Preneur

Have you ever worked with someone who consistently failed to complete her tasks for the week?

-She couldn’t find the time to get her email opt-in page completed?

-She was too busy to write the next chapter of her book?

-She was working too hard and completely forgot to put together her webinar presentation?

It wouldn’t take long before you sat her down for a serious talk about the future of your working relationship—and her business?

-Even worse- have you ever had a boss or co-worker who slept in and showed up shockingly late as if it were no big deal?

Continue reading “Stop Being Your Own Worst Co-Worker/ Boss”

A Christmas Wish

As a funny female speaker, I get to perform a lot, but it’s always so wonderful to have the opportunity to go back to my acting “roots”. I was very thankful to be a part of this project. I believe in the message.

 

How to Be Happy- Dealing With People Who Are Condescending

Do you have someone in you’re life who you’re never quit sure if they’re being naughty or nice? Someone who says potentially hurtful things in such a polite, smiley way, you can’t tell if they’re being genuinely helpful or hurtful? If they’re being condescending or giving a compliment? Do you ever have that moment where you’re taken aback because you honestly don’t know how to take what was just said?

I do. I’ve never been quick on my feet when it comes to people’s intentions. I tend to see people through a positive lens. Sometimes it’s YEARS later before I finally come to the recognition-that  person was actually being a jerk. What!!??

Perhaps it’s a blessing I’m slow on the uptake. Why? I’m even slower in the moment with a comeback. I’m one of those who, months later at 2 a.m., my head pops of the pillow with the most brilliant reply. Then I have what I call my “Comeback Fantasy” where I get to visualize the entire conversation with me saying what I wish I could have said. And-not to brag or anything-but in my fantasy-I’m freakin’ brilliant.

So what do you do when you have one of those condescending people in your life (assuming you’re forced to be around them by blood, business, or your other BFF’s).

Keep Calm-Smile On: 

-Some people honestly have no idea how they come across. Continue reading “How to Be Happy- Dealing With People Who Are Condescending”

35 Things for Your Kids to Do in the Summer While You’re Working

 

If there is ever a season for zero productivity, internal rage, self doubt, lack of self control, and overall inadequacy as a Mom-preneur (work from home Mom who is an entrepreneur) -it would be summer. Summertime at my house begins with visions of my children in summer dresses frolicking freely in a flowered meadow. Me- smiling as I watch them contently while sitting on a hand knit wool blanket from Ireland with my laptop resting softly in the shade and money flowing freely into my bank account.  Reality usually sets in sometime within the first week of summer. Reality includes  screaming matches through closed doors at my kids….and me ingesting one….ok sometime two…entire bags of BBQ potato chips while getting some…a little…ok sometimes ZERO work done in an entire day.

I work from home…thankfully….unfortunately…(My kids would give you that exact same response.) Below is my typical summer work day I have expertly honed through the years:

-Go to Wal-Mart. Spend a fortune to have a “cheap” summer. Items include bubbles, sprinklers, plastic baseball bats, bug catchers, sidewalk chalk, kites, and any other shiny bright object that appears to have more than 10 minutes of entertainment value. All items must be foldable, collapsible, etc., as they will end up in a filthy heap in my garage that no one will touch after the first week of June.

-Create schedules, sticker charts, “mommy’s working” note for my office door

-Explain to the children the “rules” of when they can bother me and when they can’t

-Make a calendar of all the fun things we will do when Mommy’s not working

-Close my office door to work…and listen to the children start to fight

-Open the door to find out what’s going on. Get them re-situated. Close the office door and listen to them fight.

-Open the door and bring out a new shiny bright object for them to play with

-Close the door and listen to them play for 2 seconds…then fight

-Open the door, yell, slam something new down on the table for them to play with

-Close the door and listen to them complain that they’re bored

-Open the door, kick them outside

-Close the door and watch them fight outside my office window

-Open the window, scream at them to stop fighting because the neighbors can hear them. Close the window and watch them flop down like dejected sloths melting in summer heat and complain that they’re bored.

-Work for 2 seconds and hear a knock on my window. Listen to them ask me to come back inside. I shake my head no. Repeat 872 times.

-Let them back inside 10 minutes later and watch them collapse in a heap in front of electronics

-Close the door and feel guilty I’m working instead of spending time with my kids

-Open the door to see what they’re watching and make awkward conversation. Feel guilty that I’m spending time with my kids instead of working. Go back in my office and close the door.

-Listen to them fight over electronics. Open the door and scream at them they’re lucky they don’t live in a 3rd world country. Give them a lecture. Make them do a chore.

-Go back in the office. Feel guilty. Stress eat. Glance at the time. It’s 9:17 am.

-Repeat hourly…for three months.

I decided I needed some work  “productivity hacks” that were better than what’s previously listed when it came to keeping my kids entertained for little or no money while I worked. I did some extensive scientific research…by posting a sign on my Facebook page…for advice. Here are a few of my favorites from friends and some from “SuperMoms” on the Internet who lie about how perfect their parenting skills/home/and children are:

  1. Library Summer Programs
  2. Geocaching OR painting and finding rocks. Here is an example:
  3. https://www.facebook.com/groups/300625560293159/?fref=mentions
  4. Vacation Bible School (Lots of churches host these and they are extremely inexpensive and a lot of fun. Look for giant VBS signs when you’re driving outside church buildings.)
  5. YMCA-(Usually have internet so you can work while kids swim, do programs, etc. Ours has a coffee shop so I can actually host meetings, too.)
  6. Art Club
  7. Sports Camps through non-profits
  8. Go for evening walks
  9. Flex your work hours to fit in fun
  10. Hiking, biking, swimming, anything that’ll wear them out physically. J
  11. Make summer books. (Love this.)
  12. Use 50% off regular item coupons from craft stores.
  13. Make slime. http://littlebinsforlittlehands.com/homemade-slime-recipe/
  14. Have them make a movie or video with smart phone then watch at dinnertime. Let them use costumes, music, edit, etc.
  15. Match reading hours for Youtube/Video game hours. Example: for every 30 minutes of reading-they get 1 hour of Youtube.
  16. Set up the big tent in the living room. Let them do “camping” overnight.
  17. Have them make homemade board game. Check Pinterest for lots of ideas.
  18. Check local bowling alleys and skating rings for free or nearly free summer bowling programs for kids. Lots have Wi-Fi.
  19. Free E-book for kids on Amazon
  20. Free Lego club for kids
  21. Home Depot, Lowes and Michaels free or nearly free classes for kids
  22. “Photo Walk” through Apple
  23. Microsoft Youth Spark
  24. Whole Foods Kids Cooking Class
  25. Bass Pro Shop Summer Camp
  26. Chores
  27. Volunteer to help an elderly neighbor with their yard. (Can get list of “shut-ins” from local fire department)
  28. Search for local free or nearly free day art camps
  29. Free summer movie nights in the park
  30. Sprinkler
  31. Homemade slip-n-slide
  32. Good ol’ fashioned bubbles
  33. Free printables for kids http://funcheaporfree.com/2016/06/100-summer-activities-for-kids-free-printable-included
  34. Babysitting Co-op
  35. Work while you vacation. I do this A LOT. We’ve spent over a month on the road so far this summer. There’s wifi pretty much everywhere if I need it. I schedule certain days to work where the kids are at the pool/beach, etc. and certain days for fun. OR work in mornings, play in the afternoons. I use this to book my travel: http://bucketlistvacations.tripspin.com/snap
  36. Hire a “Mommy’s Helper” for a few hours each morning, Cheaper than a babysitter or nanny.

*Bonus: #36. Become independently wealthy. Hire 12 nannies. Fly them all to Paris with the kids for the Summer while I get numerous plastic surgery procedures done. Facetime them periodically…so I can listen to them fight. Then hang up and let the Nannies deal with it.

I have found these mindsets helpful:

-Remember kids don’t need to be “entertained” twenty-four seven. It’s good for them to figure out what to do on their own when they’re bored.

-I automatically know summer will not be my most productive months. I try to remember that when I’m feeling guilty about not getting tons done. My kids are only hear for so many years, and I want to spend time with them as much as I can…well-I MAY have moments where I want to spend time as little as I can…but for the most part-I want to be with them and I need to plan my work year accordingly.

-Boundaries are ok. It’s good to lead by example and show the kids the value of working hard. They learn by watching what you do, not by listening to what you say. If you want your kids to know how to work, you yourself have got to do it.

-Give yourself grace. We all have “Mommy Meltdowns” behind closed doors. There’s no such thing as a “SuperMom”. We’re human and we fail. That’s ok.

-Support one another in our Mommy endeavors. No haters needed. Mom’s hate themselves already. We don’t need other people pointing out our imperfections. Find a supportive group you can be real with, encourage each other and help each other out.

Now-if you’ll excuse me. I need to open my office door and yell.

Stacy Pederson Funny Motivational Inspirational Humorist Speaker

Stacy Pederson is a Colorado based Humorist and Funny Motivational Speaker who is incessantly insecure with a chronic Thai Food / Netflix binge habit.

StacyPederson.com

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How to Write an Epic Blog Post in 7 Easy Steps + 10 More

Stacy Pederson Funny Motivational Speaker

 

So you want to be a writer. Better yet a blogger. An EPIC blogger. Prose flowing means money growing. Here’s a simple 17 step plan millions of bloggers have used to write their first epic post:

  1. Spend anywhere from 1 hour to 10 years on developing the right kind of blog your passionate about. A topic that will stick with you like cellulite or your worse junior high memory.

 

  1. Make a decision to finally write your blog post. This usually happens “in the moment” after something disastrous in your life happens. A break up, job loss, 40th birthday…credit card statement comes due.

Continue reading “How to Write an Epic Blog Post in 7 Easy Steps + 10 More”