So you want to be a writer. Better yet a blogger. An EPIC blogger. Prose flowing means money growing. Here’s a simple 17 step plan millions of bloggers have used to write their first epic post:
- Spend anywhere from 1 hour to 10 years on developing the right kind of blog your passionate about. A topic that will stick with you like cellulite or your worse junior high memory.
- Make a decision to finally write your blog post. This usually happens “in the moment” after something disastrous in your life happens. A break up, job loss, 40th birthday…credit card statement comes due.
- Get a cup of coffee, crack open your laptop and let your brilliance, creativity and life changing prowess flow freely upon your unsuspecting keyboard. The world has just met the next innovative, $1 million blogger. Who knew you were the next Neil Patel???
- When it’s finished, marvel at your ingenuity. Relish in the knowledge that you are actually more clever than even you or your ex spouse-boss-friend ever thought. Screw Neil Patel. You’re more of a Hemingway.
- Spend the next 12 hours searching for a free graphic/image on a myriad of free sites that don’t offer anything free. Finally submit to the fact you’ll have to pay $1. Acknowledge that sinking feeling that now-since money is involved-you are overly committed.
- Proofread-but only briefly. Your 4 hour-$1 million-work week has now turned into a 14 hour day. As your eyes glance over your work of art, be reminded of why you failed English class. Because you couldn’t proofread. Grammar-spelling-it’s all Greek to you-even though it’s English. (I fully live this one out. As you can tell.)
- Post then Sigh in relief that you actually followed through. Feel renewed hope in yourself, your circumstances, and your future.
- Share on every social media channel available. Quickly research where to “post your blog for free” and sign up and share on all those accounts, too.
- Wait 1 minute. Then check your analytics.
- Wait 1 ½ minutes. Then check your analytics.
- Wait 5 minutes. Then check your analytics.
- Spam your friends. Then check your analytics.
- Research to check to make sure you set up your analytics properly.
- Wait 1 hour. Then check your analytics. Go to bed utterly exhausted from your new “freedom”, “passive income”, “laptop” lifestyle.
- Wake up at 5 am. Then check your analytics.
- Grab your coffee to write post #2. Stand there staring at your laptop. Tell yourself you don’t need to write one today. No one wants to read your posts daily. You’d be doing your readers a favor by only posting weekly….or perhaps monthly.
- Do it all over again…3 years later.
Stacy Pederson is a Colorado based humorist and funny motivational speaker. She recently read a few sketchy blogs written between 2009 and 2011 stating she needed to write 60 blog posts in 60 days to up her SEO score. She only has 42 more to go. Please share her content so she will stop.