Does anyone else find it odd we now live in a society where people are praised for showing their true selves?
#nofilter #rawparenting #effyourbeautystandards #truth
Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Where being ourselves is normal and having the gall to pretend you’re something you’re not – shocking?
I’m not sure where the prison of perfection, or the fear of rejection started for me. I do know they are one and the same. One leads to the other and the other back to the start.
I’m in my 40’s now and people said when I reached my 40’s I would be happy. I would come to a place where I wouldn’t care what other people thought and would finally embrace my true self. But with today’s social climate, I find myself more self-conscious than any other time in my life.
If I’m not perfect in my parenting, marriage, business, body or life- I risk rejection. Rejection from social media comments, “pointer outers” (those that love to point out other people’s faults) or even risk my business since I’m my brand. Let me repeat that-I’m my brand. Herein lies the problem.
Because my business is me, I feel the need to use a “filter”. Filter my mouth, my opinions, my religious beliefs, my inadequacies, and of course my photos. Who wants to hire someone who sucks?
I often stare, confused, and almost humored by the false sense of perfection business owners or other experts display. Talking heads filled with “valuable” advice on success, money, life-
And I wonder, are they all really that put together? Smart? Rich? Polished? Confident. AKA-Perfect?
In my mind I know they’re not. Last time I checked Tony Robbins, Marie Forleo, and Oprah Winfrey were human. Which means they suck sometimes, too. But somehow they don’t ever display suckiness-well Tony flubbed a little earlier this year….
There is a lack of authenticity in personal branding that I loathe. Which is SOOO odd, because personal branding is supposed to be about what makes us unique as individuals. We are to highlight our greatest strength and offering-the one thing we can do better than anyone else- and capitalize off of that.
But the brand is not the being-the human being part. It’s a good photo, nice logo, catchy line, the answer to someone’s problems. It’s only ½ truth. I hate that I have to pretend I am only part of my true self. Only the good stuff-the marketable stuff, the polished stuff, not the whole me.
Most businesses fail within the first 5 years, people are un-engaged in their work, middle class is no longer true middle class, generational differences are tearing apart the workplace-yet we only see this in the nightly news. There’s no brand proudly displaying, “We missed payroll for the last two weeks, a fight broke out in the lunch room, and our owner is having heart problems due to stress, so buy from us.”
People buy to solve a problem. They don’t want to buy from someone who has problems. I get that.
I’m lucky because I’m a comedian and funny speaker. (Can’t tell by THIS post…) I make fun of myself sucking at life. I’ve almost died. I’ve lost everything. I’ve failed. Struggled with depression. Been divorced. My belly’s bigger than my boobs right now. You get the picture…(hopefully not too vividly on that last one)… I make fun of it all. I get to be more authentic than most people….when I’m on-stage.
When I’m off stage and people are looking to “buy” me, it feels a little phony. My websites great. I’ve got testimonials that make me sound amazing. But most days I’m hunkered over the computer in sweatpants, second guessing myself and wondering what on earth I’m doing with my life.
If I was brave, wasn’t so insecure, not a hermit in real life, and looked amazing all the time, I would say, “Screw this. My brand is about being me-ALL of me.” But I’m not amazing and brave and secure, and I am a hermit who looks like crap when not in front of the camera.
But…I think I may say, “Screw this. My brand is about being me-ALL of me”, anyway. Maybe. I think. Possibly might do it. But I hate rejection. I’ll start once I figure out how to be perfect at imperfection.
Regardless, here’s a start.