Dear Work: 10 Things I Hate About You

 

1. You Always Make Me Feel Guilty. Other people seem to really like you a lot better than me. You’re all they ever talk about. You’re what they leap out of bed for in the morning and the last thing they think of before they fall asleep. I don’t leap out of bed for any reason and you are THE reason I can’t sleep. People seem to love you, but, truthfully, sometimes I can’t stand the thought of you. That makes me feel like a really bad person and, thus, I feel guilty.

2. You’re Really Controlling Over My Time. Somedays I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. You, on the other hand, expect me to be there on the times you dictate. I have to live my whole life wrapped around your time frame. THEN when you give me two weeks off, you act like I should be grateful. 2 weeks! I think our relationship should be flipped. I work the times I want to work, but then 2 weeks out of the year, I’ll work when you need me to. Deal?

3. You Don’t Respect My Boundaries. When I’m out with my friends or spending time with my family, you’re constantly e-mailing, calling, messaging, or texting me. I’ve talked to me about not letting myself fall into your trap, but I don’t listen to myself. I don’t respect my boundaries just like you don’t respect my boundaries and that’s why we both make me miserable.

Sure, I’ve been known to want to create my own start-up every other week about some crazy new idea. When I bring it up to you, we always have the same argument and I end up staying with you for financial security. I wish you weren’t so weird about all those moonlighting policies. I think it’d be good for our relationship to let me have some space.

5. I Don’t Like Your Friends. You get to hire your friends and then I have to spend all day with them…everyday…for YEARS. Some of them are flat out annoying. If I bring it up to you, you tell me I’m being difficult and need to learn how to get along. Otherwise I can “go somewhere else”. So not fair. If I want to bring my dog or my kids to work, you say “no”, but I’ve even had to work with your MOTHER.

6. Your Idea of Fun is Not My Idea of Fun. Spending an hour outside of work at a bar with your friends with drinks on the “house” once a quarter isn’t fun for me. Neither is “Tuesday Team Building Talent Time with Tammy” around a conference table. Whenever you ask for suggestions about things I think are fun, you never take me up on it. Something about health code violations and regulatory laws. Whatever.

 

7. I Feel Like You Lied to Me About Who You Really Were. When we first met you promised me riches untold. Career advancement. Major money potential. But then after a few months and even a few years into our relationship it turns out you were…well…work. A LOT of work. When I bring up career advancement or more money, you tell me I’m not ready, or you’re not ready, and so I feel like you lied to me.

8. I Feel Like You Don’t See Me for Who I Really Am. You seemed to like me a lot when we first met. Once we got together, you seem to appreciate me less and less. The things you used to like about me, being fun, unconventional, creative, seem to annoy you now. I feel like you don’t appreciate the unique things about me and just want me to conform to make life easier for you. That hurts my feelings. I feel unappreciated.

9. You Can’t Buy My Commitment. I used to care about your money. Now I don’t so much anymore. Sure it’s nice to have, and I need some to live, but it’s not enough for me to revolve my whole life around you. I care more about having a purpose. Pursuing my passion and gifting’s and being rewarded for that. I’m not a machine. I’m a living, breathing soul and I want more from our relationship then a paycheck at the end of the week. If you want my lifelong commitment, you need to see me, hear me, support me, and allow me to be me. If you do that for me, I’ll naturally do that for you. You can’t buy my faithfulness. But I’ll give it to you fully if you support and respect me.

10. Finally, Your Wardrobe Embarrasses Me. The black cargo looking pants from 1982 with the blue button up polo with your logo all over SUCKS. I can’t even FIND white tennis shoes with no logo. Seriously. Can’t we fun it up even a little? I spent over $300 on clothes last quarter that my Great Uncle Kyle wouldn’t even wear and he’s had on the same pair of overalls…unwashed…since the Korean war.

After a nasty break up with her last “Real Job”, Stacy Pederson is now a Funny Motivational Speaker who has almost died a lot. (StacyPederson.com) Stacy now works for herself, but has the same issues with her boss…Stacy….so it’s a tad dysfunctional. She’s beginning to realize it was her own issues all along that caused the problems in her past relationships with “work”. You can learn more about Stacy by clicking on the exact same link shown a few sentences above or here: StacyPederson.com or here: StacyPederson.com or here: StacyPederson.com

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