Because I Have it all Together, and Other Lies I Want You to Believe About Me

Dear Work: 10 Things I Hate About You

 

1. You Always Make Me Feel Guilty. Other people seem to really like you a lot better than me. You’re all they ever talk about. You’re what they leap out of bed for in the morning and the last thing they think of before they fall asleep. I don’t leap out of bed for any reason and you are THE reason I can’t sleep. People seem to love you, but, truthfully, sometimes I can’t stand the thought of you. That makes me feel like a really bad person and, thus, I feel guilty.

2. You’re Really Controlling Over My Time. Somedays I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. You, on the other hand, expect me to be there on the times you dictate. I have to live my whole life wrapped around your time frame. THEN when you give me two weeks off, you act like I should be grateful. 2 weeks! I think our relationship should be flipped. I work the times I want to work, but then 2 weeks out of the year, I’ll work when you need me to. Deal?

3. You Don’t Respect My Boundaries. When I’m out with my friends or spending time with my family, you’re constantly e-mailing, calling, messaging, or texting me. I’ve talked to me about not letting myself fall into your trap, but I don’t listen to myself. I don’t respect my boundaries just like you don’t respect my boundaries and that’s why we both make me miserable.

Continue reading “Dear Work: 10 Things I Hate About You”

A Christmas Wish

As a funny female speaker, I get to perform a lot, but it’s always so wonderful to have the opportunity to go back to my acting “roots”. I was very thankful to be a part of this project. I believe in the message.

 

Generation X- #Funny Video by Keynote Speaker Stacy Pederson

Generation X…Who?? A funny video on “Generation X-The Forgotten Middle Child”. #workplace issues by Humorist Keynote Speaker, Stacy Pederson.

For more of Stacy’s videos you can subscribe to her Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/StacyatMCA

Or like her Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/stacypedersoncomedy

OR Submit your e-mail here:

Continue reading “Generation X- #Funny Video by Keynote Speaker Stacy Pederson”

Funny Video for Work-from-Home Moms by Humorist Keynote Speaker Stacy Pederson

If you are a work-at-home Mom or Mompreneur-there’s a good chance you know ALL ABOUT, the “Note Under the Door”. Funny Video from Keynote Speaker, Stacy Pederson.

Filmed at “Ambitious Women’s Conference” in Dallas, TX, 2017.

For more of Stacy’s videos you can subscribe to her Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/StacyatMCA

Or like her Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/stacypedersoncomedy

Continue reading “Funny Video for Work-from-Home Moms by Humorist Keynote Speaker Stacy Pederson”

How to Be Happy- Dealing With People Who Are Condescending

Do you have someone in you’re life who you’re never quit sure if they’re being naughty or nice? Someone who says potentially hurtful things in such a polite, smiley way, you can’t tell if they’re being genuinely helpful or hurtful? If they’re being condescending or giving a compliment? Do you ever have that moment where you’re taken aback because you honestly don’t know how to take what was just said?

I do. I’ve never been quick on my feet when it comes to people’s intentions. I tend to see people through a positive lens. Sometimes it’s YEARS later before I finally come to the recognition-that  person was actually being a jerk. What!!??

Perhaps it’s a blessing I’m slow on the uptake. Why? I’m even slower in the moment with a comeback. I’m one of those who, months later at 2 a.m., my head pops of the pillow with the most brilliant reply. Then I have what I call my “Comeback Fantasy” where I get to visualize the entire conversation with me saying what I wish I could have said. And-not to brag or anything-but in my fantasy-I’m freakin’ brilliant.

So what do you do when you have one of those condescending people in your life (assuming you’re forced to be around them by blood, business, or your other BFF’s).

Keep Calm-Smile On: 

-Some people honestly have no idea how they come across. Continue reading “How to Be Happy- Dealing With People Who Are Condescending”

Mommy Needs a Nap-The Truth on How to Get More Sleep

Event Meeting Conference Planner Artist Performer Musician Speaker Humorist Stacy Pederson

 

I suffer from chronic PMS. Painful Morning Syndrome. Symptoms include moodiness, puffiness, fatigue, angry outburst for no reason. That’s me in the morning….and between the hours of 2-4 pm….early evening…the kids’ bedtime….AND anytime my husband gives me “the look” once everyone’s asleep.

Motherhood is code for “DTS-“Death to Sleep”. At your baby shower, they should just hand you boxes of tissues and a bottle of wine to mourn over the loss of anything that resembles rest. I wish someone had pulled me aside and said, “Oh, honey. Motherhood is the most meaningful work you’ll ever do on this planet-but you’ll be so tired you won’t enjoy or remember any of it.”

There have been times where five kids and a comedy career has been anything but funny. I’ve wasted hours on reading tips and tricks on how to get more zzz’s when I should have slept. Here’s my chance to pull you aside and share with you the truth behind my “How to Get More Sleep” favorites.

“Know How Much You Need”: This piece of advice is easily answered. You need more. No matter how much sleep you get, you’ll feel it’s never enough. You’ll just…want….more….

“Make A Sleep Plan”: For those of you who love to make a plan, this will bring you fleeting moments of joy over the idea of taking control in this area of your life. Until, of course, your plan is thwarted by Continue reading “Mommy Needs a Nap-The Truth on How to Get More Sleep”

How to Be Happy: What to Do When You Dwell in the Grey

How to Be Happy

She had two white plastic lawn chairs, a large steel pot, one mattress wet from the rain, an orange bucket, and one remarkable painting. I was nervous. I’d never been in someone’s home where I couldn’t speak the language. My friend, who was semi-fluent, sat and spoke with her. As they conversed, my eyes darted around her home.  My eyes fell to the large gaps in the floor where water, mice and any other sort of varmint could run freely in and out. There were missing cinder blocks where the tin ceiling attached to the walls allowing rain and wind to blow in. Several of her children sat politely on the wet mattress on the floor. They were sporting their bright yellow Vacation Bible School t-shirts they had worn faithfully for three days in a row. The orange bucket sat in the corner. I knew the bucket was used for bathing, as I had seen several children being scrubbed down, underwear and all, while standing inside a small plastic bucket of their own.

In stark contrast, above the white lawn chair, hung one remarkable painting. It was at odds with the rest of the scene. Brilliant colors, fine details, an expression of class and beauty.

Continue reading “How to Be Happy: What to Do When You Dwell in the Grey”

How to Be Happy: How to Open a Pickle Jar Without Losing Your ”Grip”

how to be happy stacy pederson keynotes meeting events

 

I’m in sunny Glendale, CA right now-LIVING IT UP- by staying locked inside hunkered over my computer. (This is what “success” supposedly looks like…or so I’ve been told.)

I broke away to head out into the great big yonder and meandered into an Armenian grocery store filled with treats and wonders. There, in the back of the store, the large industrial refrigerator doors parted and revealed an enormous  hunk of Italian salami-all natural mind you-for a shockingly low price-(much like my performance/speaker fee right now). Being Italian, my mouth watered as I saw it lying there under a heavenly fluorescent halo. I snagged it, AND on the way out-snagged a jar of pickles. Every Italian knows salami needs friends. Cheese, crackers or bread, and olives or pickles. Everything else is optional.

I raced home, yelled obscenities at my diet who was pounding on my locked kitchen door, and tore into the salami wrapper. I stopped short of ripping a hunk off with my teeth-because I needed a pickle. Apparently, the pickles didn’t feel the same way about me.

For the next 40+ minutes I fought with a jar of pickles. Now, I wish I was making this up. Especially since I read daily on “productivity hacks” and “staying focused”…because I have a slight problem with that….

At first, I did the usual pickle jar opening tricks:

1. I looked around for a male with huge arm muscles. Jeff was at work-so that led me to “How to Open a Pickle Jar” option #2.

Continue reading “How to Be Happy: How to Open a Pickle Jar Without Losing Your ”Grip””

How to Be Happy-Are Other People More Successful Than You?

“The grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.” 

Are other people more successful than you? When you look on social media, do other people’s lives appear better than yours? Do people seem more successful, beautiful, happier, healthier or prosperous than you?

I heard a fabulous quote recently by Neil Barringham. “The grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.” I LOVE this quote!!

This quote, “The grass isn’t greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it”, has the ability to help you live a happier life in 3 ways:

Continue reading “How to Be Happy-Are Other People More Successful Than You?”

Top 19 Confusing “Motivational” Quotes / Tweets to Mess With Your Followers

 

Seems everyone has an Inspirational / Motivational quote they plaster all over their social media. Have you ever read a motivational quote that made absolutely no sense? 

I had to get in on the fun.

Here’s 19 “Motivational” / “Inspirational” quotes you can use just to mess with your followers: …(Why 19? Just to mess with those of you who need it to be 20…)

 

 

 

“LOVE is a 4 letter word that spells ‘LOVE'”

 

“My Darkest Hour is When it Dawned on Me I Had Been Kept in the Dark.”

 

“Tomorrow is another day. Different than today. Tomorrow will become today and today yesterday…don’t worry about that part.”

 

“Live everyday as if it were your last-because-if I had it my way it would be.”

 

“Failing forward gives you momentum-even though it’s face down.”

 

“Whoever laughs at you when you fall, is probable a PE teacher.”

“A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single tweet or snapchat post.”

 

 

“Dance as if everyone’s drinking.”

 

Enjoy the little things in life because, if you’re a millennial, it’s probably all you can afford.”

“Perfection is only a path mediocre people take. Perfect people don’t need a path.”

 

“Be yourself…only better.”

 

“Success does not come from winning. It comes from really good P.R.”

 

“Keep your chin up, your head held high, and your best foot forward. It makes you look better in your pics.”

“Happiness comes when your automatic deposit is no longer pending.”

 

“Life is like football. It requires hard work, sacrifice, dedication, and an occasional $20 million contract.”

“Only losers understand the true value of a win.”

 

“I have found if you genuinely love life-you’re a little off.”

 

“To live is to let go. So hold on tight to your dreams.”

 

“Beware of a man who is charming. Charm is spelled ‘C-Harm'”.

 

Stacy Pederson is a Colorado based Humorist and Funny Motivational Speaker who is incessantly insecure with a chronic Thai Food / Netflix binge habit.

StacyPederson.com